What if understanding is only one part of the picture?

There are times when understanding something changes everything.

You recognize a pattern, make a connection, or discover a new way of thinking about an experience. Suddenly, something that felt confusing begins to make sense.

And there are other times when understanding doesn’t seem to change how you respond.

You know the conversation isn’t dangerous, but your heart is racing.

You know you don’t have to take care of everything, but you find yourself doing it anyway.

You know a change is right for you, but you feel shaky and unsettled.

You know you want to rest, but your body seems to have other plans.

This can be especially frustrating if you’re someone who has relied on thinking, planning, and problem-solving to navigate your life.

You may have become very good at figuring things out.

But sometimes your experience doesn’t respond to another explanation.

Our bodies participate in how we experience the world. Sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, images, impulses, and movement can all be part of how we respond to what’s happening around us.

Somatic Experiencing invites us to include these different aspects of experience in our exploration.

Not because the body holds a secret answer that I can interpret for you.

And not because thinking or talking is somehow less valuable.

But because there may be more to notice than what you can explain with words.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Your life looks good on paper, but you’re exhausted by the effort it takes

You’re capable, responsible, and accustomed to managing a great deal.

People rely on you. You’re good at anticipating what needs to happen, making adjustments, and keeping things moving.

You’ve become skilled at pushing through.

But lately, you’re noticing how much effort it takes.

Perhaps you don’t realize you’re overloaded until you’re completely exhausted. Or you have trouble recognizing what you need because you’re so accustomed to responding to everything around you.

You can keep going. You’ve demonstrated that many times.

But you’re beginning to wonder whether there’s another way to experience your life.

Something small sets off a reaction that surprises you

A change in someone’s tone of voice. An unexpected request. A minor disappointment.

Suddenly, you’re irritated, anxious, defensive, or overwhelmed.

Later, you can explain what happened. You may recognize the pattern immediately.

But in the moment, your reaction seemed to take over.

Maybe you replay the situation afterward, thinking about how you wish you’d responded.

You’d like to have a little more room between what happens and what you do next.

A change you wanted has left you feeling unsettled

You made a thoughtful decision. Perhaps you’re retiring, changing careers, ending a relationship, or entering a new stage of life.

You may have been looking forward to it.

But now that the change is happening, you’re surprised by your response.

You feel restless, shaky, unusually emotional, or uncertain.

You keep telling yourself that this is what you wanted.

And it may be.

But your experience is more complicated than that.

You finally have time for yourself, but you can’t quite enjoy it

You’ve been looking forward to a free afternoon.

You might want to write, make art, spend time outside, read, or simply rest.

But when the time arrives, you can’t settle.

You keep finding things to do. Your attention wanders. You feel vaguely uncomfortable without knowing why.

Maybe you sit down to write and can’t get past the first sentence.

It’s not that you don’t want to do these things.

You do.

You’d like to understand what happens between wanting something and being able to participate in it.

You’ve learned a lot about yourself, but you’re still curious

Perhaps you’ve been in therapy before.

You understand your history and can recognize familiar emotional responses.

That work has been valuable.

And yet something still feels unexplored.

Maybe you notice reactions you don’t quite understand.

Perhaps you’re curious about what happens when you slow down instead of immediately explaining an experience.

Or you simply have a sense that there’s more to discover about being yourself.

You don’t necessarily need another problem to solve.

You may be interested in another way of exploring.

Somatic Experiencing gives us another way to be curious

Somatic Experiencing, often called SE, was developed by Dr. Peter Levine as an approach to working with trauma and overwhelming experiences.

Its principles can also be useful in exploring stress, everyday reactivity, life changes, and the relationship between our physical and emotional experiences.

In Somatic Experiencing, we become interested in how you experience and respond to what’s happening.

Sometimes that begins with a bodily sensation, such as tightness, warmth, or shakiness.

Other times, you might notice a thought, a memory, an emotion, an image, or an impulse to move.

These different aspects of experience offer us different places to begin.

If you’re not sure what you’re feeling in your body, we don’t have to keep searching for a sensation.

We can explore something else that’s available to you.

And sometimes, as we move between different aspects of experience, something begins to shift.

I may ask what you notice as you describe a situation, or invite you to pay attention to something happening in the present moment.

We might explore what happens when you notice the chair supporting you, allow your eyes to move around the room, or bring to mind someone who helps you feel supported.

These can be very small experiments.

Perhaps something changes.

Perhaps you discover a response you hadn’t noticed before.

Or perhaps nothing much seems to happen at first.

All of that gives us information.

The point isn’t to fit you into a technique. It’s to discover what happens when we pay attention to your experience.

I bring my clinical knowledge, observations, and curiosity to our work. You bring your experience and your own sense of what matters.

We explore together.

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If you’re curious about Somatic Experiencing, I’d welcome a conversation about what you’re looking for and whether this approach feels like a good fit.

How will you know when something is changing?

One question I often ask is:

“When this therapy helps you, what will be different? How will you know?”

Your answer might be surprisingly ordinary.

Perhaps you recognize that you’re becoming overloaded before everything feels impossible.

Maybe you notice a familiar reaction beginning and discover you have more room to respond.

You might wake up feeling more refreshed, or realize that a situation that usually unsettles you doesn’t have quite the same hold.

Sometimes a client notices they’re doing something naturally that we previously explored together in a session.

Perhaps they find themselves recognizing the support of the floor beneath their feet, taking a moment to orient to their surroundings, or noticing something supportive—without consciously remembering to practice.

Something has become more available.

Other changes may be harder to describe.

You might notice an impulse you hadn’t recognized before.

You may find yourself able to stay with a feeling a little longer, or move away from it when you need to.

Perhaps you discover that an experience you expected to be entirely uncomfortable also contains something interesting, pleasant, or unexpected.

And sometimes change takes a direction neither of us anticipated.

We can pay attention to the changes that matter to you without deciding in advance what those changes should be.

The possibilities don’t need to be limited to the examples on this page.

We don’t have to push through to make something happen

Many people come to therapy having spent years trying hard to change.

They’ve analyzed their responses, worked on their habits, challenged their thinking, and searched for explanations.

Some of that work may have been helpful.

But if you’re accustomed to managing yourself through effort, Somatic Experiencing can offer a different experience.

We can slow down.

We can notice what’s happening without immediately trying to change it.

We can become curious about something uncomfortable without requiring you to stay with it longer than feels manageable.

Sometimes we might explore a difficult experience for a moment, then turn our attention toward something steadier or more pleasant.

We may explore what happens when you recognize the support of the chair beneath you or notice something in your surroundings that catches your interest.

This isn’t necessarily about distracting yourself from discomfort.

It’s about discovering that your experience may contain more than the part that’s demanding your attention.

You may notice tension and support at the same time.

Anxiety and curiosity.

Sadness and warmth.

Restlessness and a moment of ease.

We don’t have to choose one and eliminate the other.

We can explore what happens as your attention moves between them.

I won’t ask you to push through an exercise to prove you’re making progress.

If something doesn’t feel useful, we can talk about that.

If you’re uncertain, we can slow down.

Your hesitation, preferences, and observations are all part of the work.

What happens in a Somatic Experiencing session?

You don’t need to come in with the right words or a clear agenda.

We might begin by talking about something that’s happening in your life.

Perhaps you’ve had a difficult conversation, you’re feeling unsettled about a decision, or you’ve noticed a familiar reaction that you’d like to understand differently.

We can talk about the situation.

And at some point, I may invite you to become curious about what you’re experiencing as you talk.

Discovering how you recognize stability

Suppose you’re describing a situation that has left you feeling shaky or overwhelmed.

I might ask whether you’d be interested in a small experiment.

Perhaps we begin by noticing the stability of the floor beneath your feet.

I might ask:

“How do you recognize the experience of stability? What signals in your body tell you that stability is present?”

You might notice the pressure of your feet against the floor, a change in your breathing, or a feeling of steadiness somewhere in your body.

Or perhaps you don’t notice anything in particular.

That’s okay, too.

We don’t have to keep searching for a physical sensation.

I might ask again, a little differently:

“How do you recognize the experience of stability?”

Perhaps a thought comes to mind. You remember a place where you felt secure. You notice something about your surroundings, or become aware of an impulse to move.

We can explore whatever emerges.

The point isn’t to make you feel stable or to get a particular response.

It’s to discover how you recognize and experience stability, and what happens as we explore that together.

What if you don’t notice anything?

Sometimes I’ll invite you to notice something happening in your body, and you may not be sure what I’m asking you to notice.

That’s common.

You might wonder whether you’re supposed to feel something specific—or whether you’re somehow doing Somatic Experiencing incorrectly.

You’re not.

I may offer a few examples to help you become familiar with the language of sensation.

Perhaps there’s something warm or cool. A vibration, a trembling, a sense of flow. Something that feels like water moving, air moving, or even electricity.

Maybe there’s a sense of movement in a particular direction, or a change in temperature.

Or maybe none of those descriptions fits.

We don’t have to make something happen.

I might ask, “What do you notice that’s most obvious or in front right now?”

Perhaps it’s a thought.

Maybe it’s an emotion, a memory, an image, or an impulse to move.

We can begin there.

Sometimes I describe this as changing channels.

Somatic Experiencing is a body-oriented approach, but bodily sensation isn’t the only aspect of experience we can explore.

We can move between sensations, thoughts, emotions, images, memories, and impulses for movement, noticing what becomes available as we do.

And sometimes I’ll invite you to stay with something a little longer than you might on your own.

Not because there’s a particular answer we’re trying to reach.

But because an experience may continue to unfold when we give it some time and attention.

You can let me know if you’d rather pause, change direction, or explore something else.

Part of our work is getting to know how you experience the world—including which ways of paying attention come naturally to you and which are less familiar.

We might notice something supportive

Sometimes we explore what happens when you remember a person, place, activity, or experience that feels supportive.

Perhaps you think about someone who has been there for you during a difficult time.

I might ask what you notice as you remember that support.

You may feel warmth in your chest, remember a conversation, notice a thought, or recognize an impulse to move.

We can take a moment to be curious about that experience.

Not to convince you that everything is fine.

Not to erase whatever has been difficult.

But to notice that support may also be part of what you’re experiencing.

We might follow a small change

As we pay attention, experiences sometimes shift.

A feeling of tightness may soften.

An impulse to move may become more noticeable.

A memory may bring a new feeling into awareness.

Or a thought that seemed very important a moment ago may become less central.

Sometimes we stay with a small change long enough to discover what happens next.

Other times, we pause.

This kind of attention is sometimes called tracking in Somatic Experiencing.

You don’t need to know the term or become skilled at doing it correctly.

We’re simply becoming interested in what you notice.

We might move between different experiences

There may be times when we gently move our attention between something uncomfortable and something that feels steadier, neutral, or pleasant.

Somatic Experiencing sometimes calls this pendulation.

The term isn’t especially important.

What’s interesting is the possibility of discovering that you can experience something difficult without having to remain entirely absorbed in it.

Perhaps you notice that an uncomfortable experience changes when you return to it.

Maybe you discover a little more room around it.

Or perhaps you recognize that you’ve had enough for now.

We can respect that.

We can explore what happens outside the therapy room

Sometimes you’ll want to remember an experiment we’ve tried together.

We might discuss how you could explore it during your week.

Other times, you may notice a change without consciously practicing anything.

You might find yourself pausing before reacting, recognizing that you’re overloaded, or naturally orienting toward something that helps you settle.

These discoveries don’t have to happen on a schedule.

And they won’t necessarily look the same for everyone.

Our work is about becoming more familiar with your own experience, not mastering a set of techniques.

I’ll be engaged with you in the process

Somatic Experiencing is collaborative, but that doesn’t mean I’ll simply sit back and listen.

I’ll be paying attention.

I may share an observation, ask a question, or invite you to explore something you hadn’t considered.

Sometimes I may gently challenge an assumption.

Other times, I may suggest slowing down because something subtle seems worth noticing.

I bring my training and experience to these moments, but I don’t assume I know what your internal experience means.

You may tell me that something resonates.

You may tell me it doesn’t.

You may notice something entirely different from what I expected.

That’s useful information.

We can follow your experience rather than trying to make it fit an explanation.

I also believe that the relationship between us matters.

You should be able to ask questions, express uncertainty, disagree, and participate in decisions about the direction of our work.

I want you to have room to be yourself in the process.

We can be serious about what matters to you without making every moment heavy.

There can be curiosity, humor, uncertainty, and surprise.

Sometimes the most interesting discoveries happen when we aren’t trying so hard to arrive at an answer.

The goal isn’t to feel calm all the time

Somatic Experiencing is often described as a way to support nervous-system regulation.

That can be an important part of the work.

When you’re overwhelmed, it may be helpful to discover what allows you to feel steadier or more supported.

But I don’t think the purpose of this work is to become calm all the time.

Life isn’t calm all the time.

It includes disappointment, excitement, uncertainty, grief, pleasure, frustration, connection, and change.

Sometimes we need to respond to something difficult.

Sometimes we want to feel energized and engaged.

Sometimes we need to rest.

And sometimes we want to become absorbed in something that matters to us.

What interests me is the possibility of expanding your capacity for a full spectrum life.

That might mean discovering that you can experience a difficult emotion without becoming entirely overwhelmed by it.

It might mean feeling excitement without immediately needing to contain it.

Perhaps you become more comfortable recognizing what you want.

Or more able to participate in something enjoyable without feeling pulled away by restlessness or worry.

You might find yourself responding differently to a familiar situation.

Or discovering something about yourself that you hadn’t known to look for.

There’s no single destination.

And I don’t want to limit your possibilities by deciding in advance what a good outcome should look like.

We can begin with what matters to you and remain open to what emerges along the way.

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Frequently asked questions about Somatic Experiencing therapy

Do I need to have experienced trauma to benefit from Somatic Experiencing?

No. Although Somatic Experiencing was developed as an approach to trauma, its principles can also be used to explore stress, reactivity, life transitions, and the relationship between bodily and emotional experience.

You don’t need to identify a particular traumatic event or understand your history in a certain way to be curious about this work.

If you’re seeking specialized treatment for complex or severe trauma symptoms, we can discuss whether my practice offers the level of support you need.

What if I can’t feel anything in my body? Can Somatic Experiencing still work for me?

Yes. You don’t need to be particularly aware of bodily sensations to begin.

Although Somatic Experiencing is a body-oriented approach, there are many ways to explore your experience.

You might notice a thought, an emotion, a memory, an image, or an impulse to move.

If one way of exploring isn’t particularly accessible to you, we can try another.

Part of our work is discovering how your nervous system responds and which ways of exploring feel useful to you.

There’s no correct response you’re supposed to have.

What if focusing on my body makes me uncomfortable?

We can talk about that and adjust our approach.

Somatic Experiencing doesn’t require you to concentrate intensely on uncomfortable sensations.

We may begin by noticing your surroundings, something that feels neutral, or a source of support.

You can decline an invitation, ask to pause, or tell me that something isn’t working for you.

Your choices matter.

Will we still talk about what’s happening in my life?

Absolutely.

Your relationships, experiences, decisions, and concerns are important.

Somatic Experiencing doesn’t replace conversation. It gives us another way to explore what you’re experiencing.

Some sessions may involve more talking. Others may include more attention to sensations or small experiments.

We can move between these approaches depending on what seems useful.

Is Somatic Experiencing just another way to relax?

Not exactly.

Relaxation may happen, and sometimes it’s welcome.

But we’re not always trying to move toward a calmer state.

We may explore activation, excitement, discomfort, support, movement, or subtle changes in how you’re experiencing something.

The aim is to develop greater awareness and flexibility, rather than to make every feeling pleasant.

Can Somatic Experiencing work in online therapy?

Yes. Somatic Experiencing can be explored through online sessions.

We can pay attention to sensations, thoughts, emotions, movement, your surroundings, and the physical support available where you’re sitting.

You remain in your own space, and we can adapt experiments to what’s comfortable and accessible for you.

Is Somatic Experiencing therapy a good fit for you?

Somatic Experiencing may be worth exploring if you:

• Understand your patterns but still find yourself responding in familiar ways when something activates them.
• Notice anxiety, tension, shakiness, restlessness, or other reactions that you want to understand differently.
• Are navigating a change and feel surprised by your emotional or physical response.
• Have spent years pushing through and are curious about another way of relating to your experience.
• Want to explore the connection between your sensations, emotions, thoughts, memories, and responses.
• Are interested in a therapist who is engaged, collaborative, and willing to offer experiments and gentle challenges.
• Want more capacity to participate in the full range of your life, rather than simply learning to feel calm.

This may not be the best fit if you’re looking for therapy that focuses exclusively on discussion, a highly prescribed sequence of techniques, or specialized services outside my scope of practice.

I offer online individual therapy for adults in North Carolina, rather than in-person, couples, or family therapy.

You don’t have to determine whether we’re a fit by yourself. That’s one of the things we can explore in a consultation.

You don’t need a crisis—or a perfect explanation—to begin

Sometimes people seek therapy because something has become too difficult to manage on their own.

Other times, the reason is quieter.

Perhaps you’ve begun noticing how much energy it takes to get through your days.

Maybe you recognize a familiar response and wonder whether it has to keep happening the same way.

Or you’ve become curious about the relationship between what you think, what you feel, and how your body responds.

You may not have a clear goal yet.

You might not know what you’d like to change.

You may simply want to explore.

That’s enough to begin a conversation.

You don’t have to wait until things get worse.

And you don’t have to arrive with a complete understanding of yourself.

We can start with what you’re noticing now.

There may be more to discover than you expect

You may already understand a great deal about yourself.

You may have spent years reflecting, learning, adapting, and finding ways to navigate your life.

That knowledge doesn’t disappear when we begin paying attention to your experience in new ways.

It becomes part of what we bring to the work.

Somatic Experiencing offers another opportunity to explore how you experience the world—and how those experiences may change.

Along the way, you may discover:

• More awareness of what’s happening before a familiar reaction takes over.
• Greater familiarity with how you recognize support and stability when life becomes overwhelming.
• More room to experience difficult feelings without immediately needing to escape, explain, or control them.
• New ways of responding to situations that once seemed to leave you with very little choice.
• Greater availability for rest, creativity, pleasure, connection, and other experiences that matter to you.

Or you may discover something we haven’t named here.

That’s part of what I value about this work.

The journey doesn’t have to follow a predetermined path.

We can be interested in what happens as your capacity for experience expands.

Let’s begin with a conversation

If you’re curious about Somatic Experiencing, I invite you to schedule a free 20-minute consultation.

Bring your questions.

We can talk about what you’re looking for, how I work, and whether this approach feels like a good fit.

It’s an opportunity for both of us to decide whether we’d like to work together.

Book a Free 20-Minute Consultation

Darcy M. Jones, LCSW
Online individual therapy for adults throughout North Carolina
55-minute therapy sessions